aoife.trench.warfare

Do these women feel as good as they look? Yes, I am female, and yes, I believe in maintaining a stylish appearance but may I just say, I am of the firm belief that high heels are the devil incarnate and that they lead to nothing but catastrophe. I don't care how beautiful they are, I don't care if they make my outfit "pop" and I certainly don't care for their price - to me, high heels are Public Enemy No. 1. My own experiences with these weapons of mass destruction are, thankfully, limited. Being 5'10" does have its perks after all (thanks, Dad.) I own exactly two pairs of heeled shoes, one a pair of wedges and the other a dainty pair of kitten heels. Laugh all you want, you short-ass peasants, but we'll see who's LOL ing and ROFL ing at the end of the night when all of you are teetering to and fro at a dangerous height and toppling over one another like a crowd from Weight Watchers that have just gotten a whiff of a Big Mac meal. F...

If you have a tattoo of One Direction song lyrics somewhere on your body, if you religiously follow the Twitter pages of Hollywood's famed and forgotten, if your email address is something along the lines of 'mrsryangosling123@gmail.com' or 'meganfoxbabydaddy@yahoo.ie,' please X out of your browser. Because you, you sad pathetic human, are not going to like what I have to say. Maybe it was the decent, rural Kerry upbringing I had, or maybe I was born with a rare  gene that pre-supposes a blatant disinterest in all matters celeb. I will forever live in limbo as to the reason why. Inspiration for this post came when I was listening to the radio on the way up to college recently and a presenter implored us just before an ad break to stay tuned so that we would hear the "shocking reason why Miley is heartbroken." And I thought to myself, mother of sweet divine do people actually give a damn about this stuff? Trending topics on Twitter are a disheartening r...

The sight we were met with daily Hours trawling through page after page looking for the perfect skin. Creating polls like "which JLS boi is ur fave?!?!!??!!?". And of course, the daily dilemma of who to give the 'love' to. Sound familiar? Yes, this was actually our lives once upon a time, back in the days where words like "fine" and "meet" were in our vocabulary, we were heading off to Irish College every summer, and our biggest fear was the Junior Cert. This, my friends, was a time when Bebo reigned supreme. Every day after school, dial-up connection dependent, you logged into your Bebo account and spent the whole evening doing, in hindsight, sweet feck all. Ooh, Sammy uploaded the photos of today when all the lads went around the town OMG they even went to the park!! Awh I only got 65% on Jamie's quiz of "How well do you know me?", that's so shaming. OMG I got EIGHT loves today, and it's not even my birthday, I am...