March 4th: Something to let go of
Wow. What a Monday topic. Give me a second while I think. *does laundry and ruminates on past misgivings*
You know, something I actually let go of about two years back, and have managed to maintain successfully (for the most part) is bitching about other people. I remember as a teenager having every conversation punctuated by scathing comments about anyone and anything - someone's hairstyle, the way someone acted around someone else, how long it took for someone to answer a teacher's question. I bitched about any man, woman or child, it didn't matter who you were or what you did.
Not sure what exactly happened in my life that I decided, in my early 20's, to shed this trait. However, I'm glad I did, because what I found was that I felt so much happier as a human being when I stopped speaking negatively about other people on a constant basis. Now, don't get me wrong for one second - if someone's behaviour is absolutely wearing, and I've tolerated it in silence for quite a while, I may, in my darkest hour, let a mumble of frustration slip to the nearest listening ear. But I have to be pushed to the brink nowadays. When I was 15, I could be sent on a rant just by whether or not you took sugar in your tae.
At 23 years old, I found myself becoming more aware of my discomfort with bitching when groups of friends would launch into a particularly topic, or person, and I felt no urge at any point to join in or even agree or disagree. I just let it wash over me and allow them to say whatever they wanted. I realised that when I spoke negatively of others, the pessimistic residue remained on me rather than on the targets of my gossiping. There was nothing therapeutic about dwelling on the trivial flaws of other people, as I was the one who was left feeling like crap after a rant.
These days, if someone's behaviour is bothering me, I look at it very constructively. I ask myself if there is any way I can reduce my exposure to this behaviour. This can mean placing less value on the annoying thing they're doing, or taking a break from the person for a while (if this is possible, e.g., relationships that are maintained by social media, as there is no legitimate way of muting or blocking a coworker, let's be honest here).
Not trying to make out that I'm perfect, because I definitely have moments where it all gets too much, but I know for certain that focusing on the positive things and people in my life, instead of giving out about pointless crap, is so much more rewarding for me.
You know, something I actually let go of about two years back, and have managed to maintain successfully (for the most part) is bitching about other people. I remember as a teenager having every conversation punctuated by scathing comments about anyone and anything - someone's hairstyle, the way someone acted around someone else, how long it took for someone to answer a teacher's question. I bitched about any man, woman or child, it didn't matter who you were or what you did.
Not sure what exactly happened in my life that I decided, in my early 20's, to shed this trait. However, I'm glad I did, because what I found was that I felt so much happier as a human being when I stopped speaking negatively about other people on a constant basis. Now, don't get me wrong for one second - if someone's behaviour is absolutely wearing, and I've tolerated it in silence for quite a while, I may, in my darkest hour, let a mumble of frustration slip to the nearest listening ear. But I have to be pushed to the brink nowadays. When I was 15, I could be sent on a rant just by whether or not you took sugar in your tae.
At 23 years old, I found myself becoming more aware of my discomfort with bitching when groups of friends would launch into a particularly topic, or person, and I felt no urge at any point to join in or even agree or disagree. I just let it wash over me and allow them to say whatever they wanted. I realised that when I spoke negatively of others, the pessimistic residue remained on me rather than on the targets of my gossiping. There was nothing therapeutic about dwelling on the trivial flaws of other people, as I was the one who was left feeling like crap after a rant.
These days, if someone's behaviour is bothering me, I look at it very constructively. I ask myself if there is any way I can reduce my exposure to this behaviour. This can mean placing less value on the annoying thing they're doing, or taking a break from the person for a while (if this is possible, e.g., relationships that are maintained by social media, as there is no legitimate way of muting or blocking a coworker, let's be honest here).
Not trying to make out that I'm perfect, because I definitely have moments where it all gets too much, but I know for certain that focusing on the positive things and people in my life, instead of giving out about pointless crap, is so much more rewarding for me.
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